What have I become?  Now that I’ve betrayed
Everyone I’ve ever loved, I pushed them all away
And I have been a slave to the Judas in my mind
Is there something left of me to save
In the wreckage of my life?

—– Judas by Fozzy

It’s been a few weeks (as of this typing) since I last sat down to get my observations out of my head and heart and put them to keyboard.  Lots of soul searching…  Lots of coming to grips with what I’ve seen play out on my Facebook feed, on television, even in conversations that I’ve had with people that have chosen to check in.  I see a number of people taking up The Cause.  I reserve judgment about that aspect of it because it’s a cause that is NOT going to be solved overnight.  If people are truly serious about this fight that has seemingly energized an unprecedented portion of Humanity, they all need to understand that what we’re witnessing are simply mere skirmishes in an ongoing war that’s already been going on for hundreds of years.

Yeah…  I’m saying that all of you that are proclaiming that you’re ready to fight the good fight strap yourselves in.  This is probably not going to be resolved in either of our lifetimes.

I’m a STRONG believer in the notion that nearly any problem between people can be solved if they simply have the courage to have the tough conversations.  Check your Ego at the door and listen with an open mind.  But it’s not just an open mind that will lead to change.  You have to go in with an open heart.  You have to go in with the courage to take an HONEST look at yourself and be willing to embrace the idea that you might not REALLY know what you think you do…  That what you believe is possibly based on false narratives instilled within you for any of a number of reasons in your formative years and beyond.

In short, you need to be willing to look at your own Ugliness honestly…  Be willing to directly acknowledge that it exists, look it directly in the eye and say How can I be what I consider a better version of ME?  What will it take to transform this Ugly Duckling into the Swan that I believe I am?

I’ve been saying for a while now that I don’t consider myself a pessimist; I’m a Realist.  I’ve listened to and observed enough people to inform my assertions.  The fallout from George Floyd’s murder has opened my eyes to what’s in the hearts and minds of family, acquaintances and colleagues.  Let me correct that: it hasn’t actually opened my eyes…  I knew it was there all along; I just hoped for better.  I’ve seen rampant hypocrisy.  I’ve heard and read willful ignorance.  There is a LOT of Ugly that is being PROUDLY displayed.  Resistance to Change is also in FULL FORCE.

But I’m getting slightly ahead of myself.  Trust me, I’ll circle back to that in a minute.

Black people are telling their stories; stories of their negative experiences.  The vast majority of those stories are stories of dealings with law enforcement.  That’s getting the most attention, considering the current environment.  But there are stories of just living their day-to-day lives.  We’re explaining what it’s like for us; we’re saying THIS is what we’ve PERSONALLY experienced.  These stories aren’t isolated; there isn’t just a handful of Black people telling these narratives…  Hundreds…  THOUSANDS are saying SEE?  THIS is what it’s like to be Black in America!!

Among those stories, though, are the narratives that I’ve come to expect; the narratives that ALWAYS rear their heads for nearly any argument that someone is being oppressed.  The closed-minded, the hard-hearted will ignore the thousands crying out against their abusers, deliberately searching for the handful of people who look like the victimized who say Everyone else is LYING to you!!  Don’t believe what they’re trying to say…  None of it is TRUTH!!

I refer to them as The Judases of the World.  They are opportunists, looking to place themselves above everyone else that looks like them.  They’d rather stoke the false narrative in order to garner attention for themselves.  Maybe, it’s for monetary gain.  Maybe, it’s for influence, stature, some perceived bestowment of Power so that they can puff their chests out and say I’m better than the rest.

My Truth: I’ve had it “better” than others when it comes to my personal treatment by Caucasians.  Just listening to the narratives of others, this is a FACT that I’m NOT interested in denying.  But that doesn’t mean that I’ve NOT been affected, that I’ve not had my own negative experiences, that I’m going to sit up and say Well, that shit doesn’t REALLY happen…  They’re lying/being overly sensitive/being “snowflakes”.  It also DOES NOT MEAN that I am comfortable and confident that an uglier situation is NOT in my future.  I’ve lived MY VERSION of these things PERSONALLY.  This is no competition; it’s ALL asinine!

The thing about The Judases is this: they aren’t really helping their own agendas, either.  People like David Clarke, Candace Owens and the like…  Sure, they get trotted out, displayed like the Prize Bitch at the dog show for whomever wants to use them to support their own Personal Denial…  Allowing those individuals to avoid the hard work of facing their own discomfort…  But, at the end of the day, that’s ALL that they are: A Distraction…  A reason to further push willful ignorance; for those individuals displaying them to continue to be lazy when it comes to taking an honest look at the issue at hand.  They’re not being displayed because there’s any respect being shown for them.  They’re not being displayed because the people doing so are really interested in hearing their story.  They’re nothing more than props: Look at THIS one!  We’ve got a LIVE one here!

And here’s where the aforementioned hypocrisy comes in: the people doing the displaying of these Judases CHOOSE to ignore ALL of the voices saying we’re being mistreated.  Yet, they DEMAND that you listen to anyone, no matter how much their so-called credibility is debunked, that supports the narrative that Racism, whether institutionalized or not, not only exists, but is running rampant RIGHT NOW.

I want to say that it’s unbelievable the amount of resistance there is to the idea that EVERYONE deserves to be treated based on their character instead of based on their appearance.  I want to say that it’s surprising to me that so many refuse to acknowledge the iniquities that have been built into the very fabric of what the USofA happens to be.  I want to say that it’s uncommon for so many voices backed by cold hearts, cruel, selfish minds to fight SO hard against the notion that every human being walking this planet has worth, has value and should be seen as such.

Unfortunately, it IS believable, it is NOT surprising and the disdain for Human Lives is QUITE common.

Humanity has the capacity to be SO much better.  I wish that “WE” actually acted like it and aspired to it.